Is No Contact a Trend?

Every December, we get two things: peppermint everything and a brand-new “family trend” the internet insists we’re all following that ends up flooding our social media feeds. This year, Oprah tossed “no contact” into the cultural blender and hit purée — and the internet responded with the intensity of someone discovering their toddler fed an ornament and dark chocolate to the dog.

Let’s talk about what’s really going on here — and what healthy boundaries with parents, in-laws, and extended family actually look like.

Why Oprah’s Take Hit a Nerve

When Oprah framed “no contact” as a kind of cultural movement, people online immediately said: “Wait, what? This is not a trend. This is how you set boundaries with people who have traumatized you and continue to do so”

And the comments rolled in

• “I understand why people go no contact. I don’t understand why Oprah is showcasing it like a cult.”
• “Calling no contact a trend lets abusers keep abusing.”
• “Oprah, respectfully: stop. You have no idea what people go through.”

Content creators chimed in with their own takes — some angry, some heartbroken, some pointing out that calling estrangement a trend minimizes the years of emotional exhaustion, abuse, gaslighting, and boundary violations that usually come before anyone chooses this route.

One creator said it bluntly:
“Estrangement is not a failure and it’s not a trend. It’s what happens when you’ve exhausted every reasonable effort and the relationship is still harmful.”

No Contact Isn’t Cute, Aesthetic, or Trendy. It’s a Last-Resort Boundary.

Let’s be honest: no one wakes up and says,
“You know what I feel like today? Cutting my mom out of my life. That’ll be fun.”

No-contact decisions are slow burns.
A thousand tiny paper cuts that eventually become a wound you can’t ignore.

Before someone chooses distance, they usually try everything else:

• Explaining their feelings gently (and being dismissed).
• Setting small boundaries (and being punished).
• Compromising until they’re emotionally threadbare.
• Trying for years to get clarity, closure, or accountability.
• Swallowing comments that hurt, “because it’s just family.”

People don’t choose estrangement because it’s trending on TikTok.
They choose it because staying was costing them their mental health.

This isn’t edgy.
This isn’t rebellious.
This is self-preservation in a culture that still worships the idea of unconditional family loyalty — even when that loyalty is slowly sinking the ship.

Why This Conversation Is So Heated for Parents and In-Laws

Millennial and Gen X parents are raising kids in a completely different context than their parents did:

• More two-working-parent households
• Less community support
• Higher emotional awareness
• More conversations about trauma
• More recognition of narcissistic and emotionally immature parenting
• More pressure to “be everything to everyone”

Add a parent or in-law who:

• Belittles your boundaries,
• Undermines your parenting,
• Shows up unannounced,
• Makes snide comments about your mental health,
• Or causes your nervous system to brace every time they text…

…and you’ve got a perfect storm.

That storm is not solved with a warm casserole and a chat.
Sometimes, it’s solved by distance.

Not because you didn’t try hard enough.
But because you already tried too hard, for too long.
It’s about correcting the narrative.

So… What Are Healthy Boundaries With Family, Actually?

Let’s take the word “boundary” out of the therapy room for a second and put it where it actually lives: your daily life.

Healthy boundaries might sound like:

• “We’re keeping holidays small this year.”
• “We’re not discussing my parenting choices.”
• “No drop-ins. Please text first.”
• “That comment wasn’t okay, and I won’t continue this conversation.”
• “We’re taking some space right now.”

Notice what’s missing?
Punishment. Ultimatums. Drama.

Boundaries aren’t threats.
They’re limits that protect your mental health.

And when those limits get ignored repeatedly, pushed against, mocked, or weaponized — people eventually choose distance.

No Contact Isn’t Meant to Hurt Someone Else. It’s Meant to Stop Hurting You.

The truth is, most people who go no contact aren’t trying to “teach a lesson.”
They aren’t hoping the other person feels terrible.
They aren’t trying to win.

They’re trying to:

• breathe
• sleep
• stop reliving old wounds
• minimize chaos for their kids
• break cycles
• feel safe in their own home and mind

People often describe the aftermath as:

• calmer mornings
• fewer panic spirals
• less dread before holidays
• more room to parent the way they want
• less guilt
• more clarity

If You’re Wrestling With Family Boundaries Right Now…

Maybe you’re not going no contact.
Maybe you’re just trying to say:
“Please don’t give my toddler a whole chocolate bar again,”
and your mother-in-law is reacting like you revoked her human rights.

Maybe you're trying to parent differently — gentler, clearer, calmer — and extended family keeps tugging you back into dynamics that feel unsafe or outdated.

Maybe you’re exhausted from feeling like the “difficult one,” when really you’re just the one trying to stop the generational merry-go-round.

Whatever your version is, you’re allowed to want peace.
You’re allowed to set limits.
You’re allowed to take space.
You’re allowed to heal.

Not because it's the "thing" to do
Because you're human.

You Don’t Have to Untangle This Alone

If this stirred something loose — frustration, sadness, guilt, or maybe a quiet relief — you’re not the only one navigating this.

Family boundaries are messy.
Generational trauma is complicated.
And choosing yourself isn’t selfish — it’s brave.

Couples to Cradles Counselling supports parents, adults, and families who are:

• navigating estrangement or limited contact
• setting boundaries with parents and in-laws
• breaking cycles of people-pleasing
• healing from childhood trauma or emotional neglect
• managing postpartum and parenting stress
• creating a healthier family system for their own kids

We offer in-person sessions in Lethbridge, Camrose, and Edmonton, and virtual therapy across Canada
Direct billing is available, and free consultations make it easy to start.

If you're tired of feeling responsible for everyone’s feelings but your own, let’s talk.
You deserve relationships that feel safe, not suffocating.

Book your free 20 minute video consultation with one of our therapists here

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