We don’t talk about it enough: childhood trauma doesn’t just disappear because you grew up.

It lingers. It reshapes the way you think about yourself, the way you handle stress, and—this is a big one—the way you parent.

I see this all the time in Lethbridge counselling and Camrose counselling sessions. Parents walk in saying things like:

• “I feel guilty because I’m so impatient with my kids.”
• “I’m terrified of messing them up.”
• “When my child yells at me, I shut down—or I explode.”

On the surface, these sound like everyday parenting struggles. But scratch a little deeper, and they often trace back to unresolved childhood trauma.

What Childhood Trauma Actually Is

Childhood trauma doesn’t always look like what you see in the movies. Yes, it can be physical abuse, neglect, or growing up in a violent household. But it can also be quieter things—emotional invalidation, constant criticism, or never really feeling safe or seen.

Psychologists call these Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs). They can shape a child’s developing brain, wiring them to always be on alert for danger, to question their worth, or to believe love is conditional.

Here’s the kicker: the nervous system doesn’t know time. What was once a survival strategy as a child—like being hyper-aware of tone or avoiding conflict—can become a stuck pattern in adulthood.

How Childhood Trauma Shows Up in Parenthood

Here’s where it gets personal. Because trauma isn’t just about the past—it sneaks into the present, especially when you’re raising kids of your own.

1. Hypervigilance

You jump at every loud noise. You scan the playground for danger like a hawk. You replay “what-ifs” in your mind at night. Parenting already comes with worry, but trauma can turn the dial up to 100.

2. Emotional Reactivity

Your child spills milk and suddenly you’re furious. Or your toddler screams, and your body reacts like it’s an alarm bell. Trauma makes small triggers feel huge, because your brain is wired to expect threat.

3. Avoidance

You shy away from conflict with your kids, or you over-accommodate to keep the peace. Sometimes this looks like what I call “eggshell parenting”—tiptoeing around your child’s big feelings instead of teaching them boundaries.

4. Negative Core Beliefs

If you grew up believing “I’m not good enough” or “I don’t matter,” guess what? Those beliefs often resurface when you’re exhausted at 11 pm and your child is asking for water for the fifth time. Suddenly, you’re thinking, “I’m a terrible parent.”

5. Overcompensation

Maybe you swing the other way and push yourself to be the “perfect parent.” You never say no, you try to give your child everything you didn’t have—but it leaves you drained, resentful, and disconnected.

What Is Reparenting?

Here’s the good news: these patterns aren’t permanent. That’s where reparenting comes in.

Reparenting means giving yourself what you didn’t consistently get as a child: comfort, safety, structure, and validation.

It’s not about erasing your past. It’s about breaking the cycle so you and your children don’t stay stuck in it.

Reparenting in Action: Practical Strategies

So how do you actually do this?

• Pause before reacting. When your child’s tantrum spikes your anxiety, take one grounding breath. That moment of pause gives your adult self—not your scared inner child—the chance to respond.
• Talk to yourself like you’d talk to your child. If you wouldn’t say “You’re worthless” to your 7-year-old, you shouldn’t say it to yourself either.
• Create safety through routine. Predictable meals, bedtimes, and transitions aren’t just for kids—they soothe your nervous system too.
• Name your triggers. If your child’s yelling reminds you of past experiences, notice it. Naming it helps you step out of autopilot.
• Get support. Sometimes reparenting starts in therapy. A counsellor can model the steadiness, empathy, and boundaries you didn’t get growing up.

How Counselling Helps with Reparenting

Trying to heal from childhood trauma while parenting is like trying to fix the plane while flying it. You need support.

Through trauma counselling in Lethbridge, Camrose, or online, we work together on:

• Building self-awareness. Recognizing when your inner child—not your adult self—is running the show.
• Learning regulation strategies. Breathwork, grounding, and self-soothing that actually work in the heat of the moment.
• Reshaping beliefs. Moving from “I’m not enough” to “I’m doing my best, and that’s okay.”
• Strengthening boundaries. For both yourself and your children.

The ripple effect? As you reparent yourself, you naturally parent your kids differently—with more steadiness, empathy, and confidence.

Q & A: Reparenting and Parenthood

Q: Can reparenting really change how I parent?
A: Absolutely. When you learn to soothe and support yourself, you stop passing your unhealed wounds onto your children.

Q: What if I don’t have time for therapy?
A: Even small changes—like noticing your self-talk or practicing one calming strategy—make a difference. But therapy provides accountability and deeper healing.

Q: Is online counselling effective for trauma?
A: Yes. Online counselling offers flexibility and access to trauma-informed therapists, no matter where you live in Alberta.

Lethbridge Counselling, Camrose Counselling, Online Counselling: Your Next Step

You don’t have to keep parenting from a place of pain. You can break the cycle. You can reparent yourself. And you can give your kids something better: a parent who feels grounded, resilient, and present.

At Couples to Cradles Counselling, we specialize in trauma-informed care. Whether you’re looking for Lethbridge counselling, Camrose counselling, or online counselling anywhere in Alberta, we’re here to walk with you as you heal.

👉 Book your free 20-minute consultation today. Because the best gift you can give your children is a parent who has learned to give themselves the safety, love, and compassion they always needed.

‍