Why Youth Sports Anxiety is Rising(and 6 Ways to Help Your Kid Overcome It)

Let’s talk about the thing nobody puts on the team photo.

Your kid’s anxiety.

Not the cute “butterflies” kind.
The kind where they suddenly “don’t feel good” an hour before the game.
The kind where they’re fine in warm-up… and then they make one mistake and their whole face changes.
The kind where they get frustrated, emotional, snappy, or totally shut down.

And you’re standing there thinking:

What is happening?
How do I help?
And why does everything I say make it worse?

If you’ve ever watched your kid spiral after a mistake and felt that helpless stomach-drop feeling, you’re not alone. Anxiety in youth sports is becoming more common—and it’s not because kids are weak or “too sensitive.”

It’s because the environment has changed.

And kids’ nervous systems are doing what nervous systems do when they feel pressure: they react.

The good news? Anxiety is treatable. And you don’t need to wait until your child is older to help them build the skills.

First: Is Anxiety in Sports Always a Problem?

No.

Some nerves before a game are normal. Your child cares. Their body gets energized. That’s not a red flag—that’s being human.

But anxiety becomes a problem when it starts to:

• take the fun out of the sport
• cause physical symptoms (stomach aches, headaches, nausea)
• lead to tears, panic, or anger before/during/after games
• create avoidance (“I don’t want to go,” “I’m sick,” “I hate it”)
• make mistakes feel like a catastrophe
• impact confidence and self-worth

Research on performance anxiety in athletes shows it can affect both well-being and performance—especially when it becomes intense or persistent.

And parents usually don’t need a checklist to know.
They can feel it.

Because the car rides get tense.
The practices become a battle.
And you start wondering if your kid is going to quit the sport they used to love.

So Why Is Anxiety on the Rise in Youth Sports?

There isn’t one single reason. It’s more like a pile-up.

Here are the big ones.

1) Youth sports got… intense

A lot of kids aren’t just “playing.”

They’re training.
They’re being evaluated.
They’re in higher-level streams earlier.
They’re getting feedback constantly.
They’re trying out, getting cut, getting moved up, being compared.

And even if you aren’t putting pressure on them, they can still feel it in the air.

Like the emotional equivalent of walking into a room where everyone is whispering.

2) Kids are specializing younger (and burning out faster)

When kids focus on one sport year-round, it can increase stress, pressure, and risk of burnout—especially if their identity becomes tied to performance. Research highlights concerns with early specialization and its link to mental health strain in young athletes.

In other words: if your kid’s sport becomes their whole world… it’s a lot scarier to mess up.

3) Mistakes feel bigger than they used to

Some kids experience mistakes like a full-body emergency.

Not because they’re dramatic.
Because their brain interprets mistakes as:

• I’m embarrassing myself.
• Coach will be mad.
• I’m letting my team down.
• Everyone is watching.
• I’m not good enough.

So instead of “Oops,” it becomes “I’m doomed.”

And that kind of thinking creates anxiety on repeat.

4) The pressure isn’t just external — it’s internal

Some kids are naturally hard on themselves.
They’re perfectionistic.
They want to do well.
They want to be “good.”

And if your child is that kid, they’re basically walking around with an invisible scoreboard in their head.

They don’t need a parent to pressure them.
Their brain is doing it for them.

5) Kids don’t always have the skills to regulate big feelings yet

Emotional regulation is a skill.

Not a personality trait.

When kids feel anxious, frustrated, embarrassed, or angry during a game, they often don’t know how to:

• reset
• refocus
• recover
• keep going

So they cry, explode, shut down, or spiral.

That’s not “bad attitude.”
That’s “I don’t know what to do with what I’m feeling.”

What Anxiety Can Look Like in a Young Athlete

It’s not always obvious. Sometimes it looks like “behaviour.”

Sports anxiety can show up as:

• stomach aches before games
• irritability or anger after mistakes
• refusing to go to practice
• getting stuck in negative self-talk
• crying in the car afterward
• being overly worried about coaches/teammates judging them
• freezing or playing “small”
• needing constant reassurance
• perfectionism
• quitting suddenly (even when they’re talented)

This is one of the reasons parents often end up searching things like:
“sports psychologist near me”
because they know their kid needs support, but they’re not sure what kind.

6 Ways to Help Your Child Overcome Sports Anxiety

Okay. Here’s the part you actually want.

These are practical strategies that help kids feel calmer, more confident, and more capable under pressure.

1) Name it without minimizing it

If your kid is anxious, they don’t need:
“Relax.”
“It’s not a big deal.”
“Just have fun.”

They need:
“That makes sense.”
“Your body gets stressed before games.”
“You’re not the only kid who feels this.”

When you validate anxiety, it tends to soften.
When you dismiss it, it tends to get louder.

Try this:

“I can see your nerves are big right now. That doesn’t mean you can’t do this.”

That’s not coddling. That’s support.

2) Teach them what anxiety actually is

Kids often think anxiety means:
something is wrong with me.

But anxiety is just the body doing its job… aggressively.

You can explain it like this:

“Your brain is trying to protect you. It thinks this game is a threat, even though it’s not dangerous.”

This matters because shame makes anxiety worse.

And confidence doesn’t come from pretending you’re not nervous.
It comes from knowing what’s happening and having tools for it.

3) Build a “reset plan” for mistakes

This is the biggest missing piece for so many athletes.

Because mistakes are unavoidable.
So the real question is:

What does your kid do after the mistake?

A reset plan can be simple:

• one deep breath
• one phrase (“Next play.” / “Reset.” / “I’m still in it.”)
• one physical cue (shake arms out, tap stick, adjust gloves, wipe hands)
• eyes forward, back to position

The goal is to teach your child:
mistake → reset → re-engage

Not:
mistake → panic → spiral → give up

4) Practice “pressure” outside the pressure

You can’t learn regulation for the first time in the middle of a game.

That’s like trying to learn how to swim by getting pushed into the deep end.

Instead, practice skills at home when your child is calm:

• breathing exercises
• visualization
• positive self-talk scripts
• handling frustration during practice drills
• coping statements for tough moments

The Mental Game article also emphasizes helping kids prepare and practice coping strategies so game day doesn’t feel like emotional free-fall.

5) Shift the focus from outcome to controllables

Anxiety loves outcomes:

• winning
• scoring
• being the best
• not messing up
• getting more ice time

But outcomes are not fully in your child’s control.

So we shift them to controllables:

• effort
• attitude
• focus
• recovery after mistakes
• communication
• staying coachable
• playing brave

Try asking after games:

• “What did you do well today?”
• “What was one moment you recovered from?”
• “What did you learn?”
• “What felt hard—and what helped?”

Not:
“So… did you score?”

(Unless you enjoy emotional shutdowns and silence.)

6) Get support when anxiety is taking over

If your child is:

• dreading games
• panicking regularly
• shutting down after mistakes
• having physical symptoms often
• wanting to quit because of stress

That’s a sign they need more than a pep talk.

Evidence-based interventions (including skills-based therapy approaches) are commonly recommended for performance anxiety in athletes.

Support from someone trained in youth mental health + performance can help kids build:

• emotional regulation
• confidence
• focus
• resilience under pressure

Not by “fixing” them.
By teaching them skills.

What Parents Can Say (That Actually Helps)

Here are a few phrases that tend to land better than “just relax”:

• “Your job isn’t to be perfect. Your job is to keep going.”
• “Mistakes are part of playing. Let’s work on your reset.”
• “Nerves mean you care. Let’s help your body calm down.”
• “You can feel nervous and still play brave.”
• “I’m proud of how you showed up.”

Short. Clear. No lectures.

The Bottom Line

Anxiety is on the rise in youth sports because the pressure is higher, the expectations are louder, and kids are being asked to manage big emotions in environments that don’t always teach them how.

But your child isn’t weak.
They’re not broken.
They don’t need to “toughen up.”

They need tools.

And when kids learn how to handle pressure, recover from mistakes, and regulate their emotions, they don’t just perform better.

They feel better.

Want Support for Your Young Athlete?

If your child struggles with sports anxiety, big emotions, frustration, or shutting down after mistakes, our Youth Sports Mental Performance Therapy Program helps athletes build confidence, focus, and resilience under pressure.

And if you’ve been searching “sports psychologist near me”, we’re here to help.

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